You Can Have It All....

....But Not All At Once.

A few months back I went out to California to visit a friend. While I was out there I attended one of her weekly study circles with some great people. I don't recall much of the topics that were discussed but one in particular stuck with me.

It wasn't part of the planned topic(s), it was an after talk. It was a talk about daily life (school, careers, marriage, kids, etc.). As the discussion went around the room, expressions of frustration or exhaustion began to surface. Then one lady mentioned a news anchor (I can’t recall her name) and how she manages to balance a career, a good marital standing, children, and still save face all at once.

This was defined as "having it all". But even this anchor lady had admitted that it’s not easy and very few can manage to do it in their life time. The room grew silent as if all of these ladies were giving up on their hopes and dreams knowing that even for the "super" human this concept was hard to attain.

I guess there is no such thing as having it all....

....wait, yes there is but it needs to be redefined.

You can have it all but not all at once and that's ok.

First, a person has to know what their definition of having it all is. The concept of having it all is not a limited or a rigid concept defined by one person that we must follow. Rather it's a definition that we make based on what we want our accomplishments to be in this life. For example, one person’s definition of having it all is raising great children while another could be becoming the CEO of a company. Whatever it is, know it before going after it.

Second, you must prioritize. Once you define the goals and you began to accomplish them understand that those goals might overlap and you will have to choose some over the others. Choose what is more important to you or find alternatives of juggling them without overwhelming yourself. We sometimes get bogged down from multitasking on a daily basis. So imagine if you are doing it all the time. It's exhausting and you will be burnt out, so choose your battles and really think about which goals are more important to you. Having a plan is key. In my case, family trumps career but that doesn’t mean I want to fully stop my career goals, it will just be second as a priority and there are a lot of opportunity for growth even when you aren't pursuing your career full throttle.

Third, take advantage of ALL opportunities that will open doors for your goals. You will recognize them but be hesitant to embrace them. Believe me, even the small things matter. You have to be a go-getter and accept challenges along with defeat to get where you want. Remember you can compromise without compromising your beliefs and values.

Fourth, make sure the people in your life are a support system. Having people that support you through thick and thin is what will get you through it all. They should be the ones that believe in your abilities, can recognize your limits, help you embrace your fears, and comfort you when you have a setback. Find them, they are somewhere in your life and make sure you let them know you are grateful for having them. And on that note, eliminate or limit your interactions with the ones that bring you down. If they cause trouble the first time around, chances are they will always cause problems.

Fifth and last, understand you are going through stages in your life. School doesn’t last forever (or it might), your career will not be the same ten years from now, your children will grow up and  move on, and your health will need more care in the future. Choose your opportunities during the appropriate times. Every moment is different so don’t lose out on the important ones that might have you regretful later on.

Someday you will look back and say, "Yes, I did travel, I raised a great family, I had a good career, etc". And even though they weren't all done at once, they were still accomplished. Everything has its time and place and they didn't necessarily have to happen all at once.

Live your life at your own pace and don't forget to enjoy it!


Till next time.....