Robert Burns "You Learn" Poem starts off like this: "After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul...."
Although Mr Burn's poem refers to how at one point we all realize that we must build ourselves and not wait for someone else to do so, I find another meaning.
His poem is intriguing actually because it makes you realize how we often become dependable on others to "fix" or "solve" our problems. The growing pains of growing up are very real; I know because I am living it. I can recall many times where I am faced with difficult problems and all I wanted was someone to tell me what to do or make a decision for me. Luckily, I am surrounded with people who refuse to take that role. That might have sounded sarcastic but it's true.
Mr. Burns ends the poem with "So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul, Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers...."
Though painful and confusing at times, "decorating" ones soul is the most rewarding experience for any of us. It's because we learn without influence and know that our decisions came from within us. Now I am not saying to discard sound advice from people around you. Quite the opposite. But instead of taking that advice as "it's what you should do", take it as a piece of information to weighing your options and don't forget that there IS two sides to everything so look for it.
Im just going to end by saying that you will be disappointed if you keep relying on people to carry you through life. The people in your life are there for support, unconditional love, and sometimes just a lesson; Take them as that and nothing more. They are there to "hold your hand" so let them do it to the best of their ability. Don't chain them, don't expect them to be your savior, and don't hold them to a standard you cant fulfill yourself. Just appreciate their presence and support, because you are lucky that they are there in the first place.
Till next time.....
Friday, October 21, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
It Doesnt Make Sense....
....Now, But It Will Eventually.
We have all been there, you know that moment where you are about to make an important decision. At that time and place it seems right, well-rounded, perfect. You can even glimpse into the future and envision the joy that this single decision will reap.
Yep, it makes perfect sense and it even feels right. So you put your heart and soul into it trying to make it happen. You are convinced that there is so much good in making this decision that even if there was some bad outcomes, they are minimal.
So you get ready to make this is decision and then something else intercepts. Suddenly your entire life path has been altered, shifted into a different direction. The unknown. In that moment everything changes and nothing makes sense.
Frustration abounds and you catch yourself wondering why didn't this decision happen, why?!
This is where most of us stop, we dwell so much on the why that we don't look for the wisdom behind the shift.
We humans are creatures of finite knowledge. We can't tell the future nor do we always know what is best for us. We are logical; we use steps to define how a decision will unfold in the future often ignoring the bumps in the road. Decisions based on logic are good but not all logical reasonings are sensible. On these basis we shouldn't get stuck on the "why" but have faith that the alteration in our path is for the best.
Embrace your new path and let the past go. You might not see the benefits now or soon but eventually they will manifest themselves.
Till next time....
We have all been there, you know that moment where you are about to make an important decision. At that time and place it seems right, well-rounded, perfect. You can even glimpse into the future and envision the joy that this single decision will reap.
Yep, it makes perfect sense and it even feels right. So you put your heart and soul into it trying to make it happen. You are convinced that there is so much good in making this decision that even if there was some bad outcomes, they are minimal.
So you get ready to make this is decision and then something else intercepts. Suddenly your entire life path has been altered, shifted into a different direction. The unknown. In that moment everything changes and nothing makes sense.
Frustration abounds and you catch yourself wondering why didn't this decision happen, why?!
This is where most of us stop, we dwell so much on the why that we don't look for the wisdom behind the shift.
We humans are creatures of finite knowledge. We can't tell the future nor do we always know what is best for us. We are logical; we use steps to define how a decision will unfold in the future often ignoring the bumps in the road. Decisions based on logic are good but not all logical reasonings are sensible. On these basis we shouldn't get stuck on the "why" but have faith that the alteration in our path is for the best.
Embrace your new path and let the past go. You might not see the benefits now or soon but eventually they will manifest themselves.
Till next time....
Friday, October 7, 2011
Take It Back....
....Your self-worth!
No one has the right to define your self-worth. Who are they anyway? And what validates their standards for generalizability? We are not displays for society to take free stabs nor is it acceptable to allow such actions.
Allowing others to define what you are worth is the ultimate defeat; you began to live within those standards. Sooner or later you will realize you can't live up to them and therefore, you are not "good enough".
But who's to say what is "good enough"? Let's face it, there is no such thing. There are measures of difference but not measures of good enough. And this "good enough" perception can only consume you if you let it.
Let's flip this perception and think of it this way: if you dont fit someones belief, value, way of life or standards then you are of a different mold. That's fine, you differ on those grounds. You are measuring differently but in a lateral not a vertical scale.
Don't give into the worthiness of this world, materialism is temporary, your soul is eternal. Feed, nurture and embrace who you are, your soul. Afterall, it is the only thing you should be measuring yourself to.
Till next time....
No one has the right to define your self-worth. Who are they anyway? And what validates their standards for generalizability? We are not displays for society to take free stabs nor is it acceptable to allow such actions.
Allowing others to define what you are worth is the ultimate defeat; you began to live within those standards. Sooner or later you will realize you can't live up to them and therefore, you are not "good enough".
But who's to say what is "good enough"? Let's face it, there is no such thing. There are measures of difference but not measures of good enough. And this "good enough" perception can only consume you if you let it.
Let's flip this perception and think of it this way: if you dont fit someones belief, value, way of life or standards then you are of a different mold. That's fine, you differ on those grounds. You are measuring differently but in a lateral not a vertical scale.
Don't give into the worthiness of this world, materialism is temporary, your soul is eternal. Feed, nurture and embrace who you are, your soul. Afterall, it is the only thing you should be measuring yourself to.
Till next time....
Monday, October 3, 2011
Do You Know You?
At this point in our lives, most of us have gone through an interview where we are asked about our strengths and weaknesses. And like most of us that question leads up to a blank stare and a self-realization with "I don't know!" What's even ironic is that most of us, when critiqued by others (who actually observe our actions and character), deny their conclusion of us. Mainly because, we don't like what we hear.
This is a growing problem in today's society. We don't know who we are because we are too busy trying to fit in with the crowd or keep up with is it the Kardashians now? Most people when they introduce themselves to others they try to find a common interest and for some reason that common interest becomes that persons entire character. I have had too many introductory conversations that ended abruptly/awkwardly because we couldn't get past the mundane interest of what our favorite color or food. C'mon people, what happened to knowing someone? Has it gotten that bad where we can't express our individuality and not fear acceptance or rejection?
We are so busy trying to look like each other we lost ourselves. We don't know who we are or what we want anymore. We enter relationships and form bonds that are short-lived because they were founded on something shallow with no substance. If you are not comfortable being by yourself and most importantly knowing yourself, how do you expect to be with someone else (in any type of relationship really)?
The best advice I have ever received was take time to yourself and have a conversation. Know you. Trust me it goes along way and saves a lot of time. Be your own critic for once and build your character, so the next time someone asks you "So what's your story?" You can actually answer with more than "I like the color green" and "I eat spaghetti often".
Till next time....
This is a growing problem in today's society. We don't know who we are because we are too busy trying to fit in with the crowd or keep up with is it the Kardashians now? Most people when they introduce themselves to others they try to find a common interest and for some reason that common interest becomes that persons entire character. I have had too many introductory conversations that ended abruptly/awkwardly because we couldn't get past the mundane interest of what our favorite color or food. C'mon people, what happened to knowing someone? Has it gotten that bad where we can't express our individuality and not fear acceptance or rejection?
We are so busy trying to look like each other we lost ourselves. We don't know who we are or what we want anymore. We enter relationships and form bonds that are short-lived because they were founded on something shallow with no substance. If you are not comfortable being by yourself and most importantly knowing yourself, how do you expect to be with someone else (in any type of relationship really)?
The best advice I have ever received was take time to yourself and have a conversation. Know you. Trust me it goes along way and saves a lot of time. Be your own critic for once and build your character, so the next time someone asks you "So what's your story?" You can actually answer with more than "I like the color green" and "I eat spaghetti often".
Till next time....
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